"Remember that it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation."

- Epictetus

Discourses

Epictetus reveals the collaborative nature of emotional harm - it requires both an external trigger and our internal agreement to be disturbed. Physical harm can be inflicted without our consent, but emotional and psychological harm requires our participation through our judgments, interpretations, and reactions. When someone insults us, the words themselves are just sounds; the harm comes from our decision to feel insulted rather than amused, pitied, or indifferent. This insight returns agency to us - we cannot control others' actions, but we can control our response to them, and thus our experience of them. Recognizing our mind's complicity in provocation is the first step toward emotional freedom.

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